A certian level of reckless

I have to say w/ being sick, there comes about a certain level of reckless. There's a certain need to feel a certain high, freedom, be whatever it is, its there. Mind you I don't do drugs, so there's no direct route for me in trying to get this release, so it comes down to a certain amount of... recklessness. I like to drink, eat stupidly, jump off or out of things, i like to randomly hook up w/ handfuls of people... nothing too serious... but enough to probably raise eyebrows.

This last round, i just haven't had the time to be reckless till this last week... may have pushed the line a little...

Today i did my first MRI... I fell asleep inside the machine. it took three sticks of of needle/catheter thing to get me ready... it doesn't really hurt anymore. no wonder i look for something that pushes the line.

and its been 2 weeks and i still haven't cried... sigh...